Living in New York in a Job Kids...

...I make no excuses to myself for not blogging more except WRITING CLASS is hard work.
Writing Class has also lit a considerable fire under you know who's ass to blog again....now that he has time blog.
My class would meet approx every three days and I was all like "Yeah that'll be easy writing a brand new, edited sketch that is good enough for presentation and also blogging about my weekly shellacking in class afterwards. Brilliant!"
Not brilliant.
Beat-me-up-ant. See. I'm exhausted. That joke sucked.
Point is.
If you live in New York or LA or London and you are not currently in a creative class of somekind (and a million friends told me this a million times but my ego driven ass thought it would be a waste) GET IN A CLASS.
I have produced more quality sketches in the past 4 weeks since I saw the movie Mallrats. A while folks.
The master notes that I took away from the class apply to all the arts.
You think Belushi was different than Baryishnikov? Well, he was but one thing is certain :All art benefits from a second, third, and forth look and laser like specificity.
In the words of my sage like Teacher: "Writing 'Drugs' is good. But 'Home Grown Blue Cyrstal Meth' is better." See? Specifics...
Also simultaneously with that I have begun working the 9-6pm life of a scenic carpenter. Check this shit out:

Yeah. That's called a Load In. ( Out of the gutters Dudes) Normally these babies last 2 weeks and will kick your ass. But moving scenery around and possessing enough carpentry skills not to shit the bed on a daily basis is a little harder than reminding your patrons to rewind. (Blockbuster reference, people.)

And NOW!!!!
THE LIST OF SHIT THAT WILL GET YOU THROUGH A DAY JOB OF MANUAL LABOR AND BEING IN A SNL SKIT WRITING CLASS IN NEW YORK CITY...
(See? Specifics.)


1: Angry Boys.

The Goodness.

On HBO. Just knowing that I had Chris Lilly's latest episodic opus waiting for me in a DVR cue when I got home was motivation enough to hold that 300 pound platform up in the air with 6 other dudes while electricians talked shit. If you don't watch? I will treat you the same way I treat every person that pays money for "Man on a Ledge." Strong looks. Strong.

2: The WWE and The Fact that the ROYAL RUMBLE is around the corner.

Speaker of the Houses.

Yes, the ROYAL RUMBLE is this Sunday. The Second Pay Per View on the all important list of the Four High Holy Days of Wrestling. As a wise man once said "There is nothing finer than two men squaring off in the squared circle." Well,  how about 30 men in an over the top rope match to decide who goes to WrestleMania in the Main Event? Six to One, Half Dozen to the THE ROYAL RUMBLE IS THIS SUNDAY AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

3: Red Bull.

A bull by any other name...

They could tell me that they put ground up Unicorns that were in line to be rode by a dying child as a last wish in this shit and I would drink two. Mixing a can of this with equal amounts of OJ in the morning will get you closer to the feeling of when you used to take Xenadrine in College (when it still had Ephedra in it...sigh) to stay awake, lose weight, or just, you know, tweek a bit, than anything legal will.

4: www.toplessrobot.com

Robot. Robot Boobs.

The dudes over at Topless Robot do the nerd filtering for me. So when I need a good dose of what is all good in Frodo's Crib or the Android's Dungeon...I let the sage like advice of Rob Bricken flow over me like a Jack and Coke. I mean, Jack and Diet Coke. What? I like the taste.

5: The Suicide Machines : Definition by Destruction

Some people pray for strength. Imagine that...

Top to bottom a fine, fine album. You know what helps waking up on the 4th day of a week that has kicked your soft writing ass into pain town? Nothing. But you know what will make you pick em up and put em down till Friday? See the answer above.

I love you. If you need me I'll be in a salt bath trying to skank.
Prick.