Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Prick's Best Bars...

...I have a special place in my heart for Boozehounds. I just do. Where as most people will shy away from the maniac at the end of the bar with the "let's blackout together" twinkle in his eye, I introduce myself and bend an elbow with the fella.
Most of my influences in comedy, acting and writing are total Boozers and have olympic caliber livers. Bukowski & Belushi are easy examples. Peter O'Toole, Richard Burton, and Richard Harris have a combined 17 Oscar nominations and ALMOST drank Britain dry. One of my secret theories is that drugs were invented so people could drink longer. And I am pretty sure that the coolest fashion item of all time, the fez had to be invented while a little tipsy...
Gimme shots. Me first.
So in celebration of Alcohol and my soon to be departure from NYC I give you....
PRICK'S BEST NYC BARS. (in no specific order)

Rudy's Bar and Grill- (Hell's Kitchen)

Dude. Bro. Rudy's Bro. 7 dollar pitchers. Free Hotdogs. Duct tape covered booths and seats. Need I say more? I will. In the day of the Times Square Theme Park expansion plan it is hard to walk on even 8th avenue these days. As Mickey Mouse and TKTS flex their muscles they are pushing the tourist North, South, East, and West specifically. AND YET...Rudy's remain's true to the dive bar mantra. "Get drunk lest ye be to drunk to drink...then the next one is on us." Sure it's packed on the weekends and evenings but if you want a great cheap bar that smells like hot dog water and whiskey then Rudy's is your place. May you know the joy of high five-ing a pig statue at 4pm on a Tuesday.

Doyle's Corner- (Astoria Queens)
4202 Broadway, Astoria, NY

My favorite bar of all time, ever. No frills but nice. "How did they get this perfect replica of an Irish Bar in Astoria?" Leprechaun magic, duh. During the daytime you had better be a local or a hard ass. At night Brendan and Paul will be your guides down the rivers of Powers and Jameson that run through this place and straight to full on face plant town... They'll remember your name. They'll shake your hand and direct you to the girl at the end of the bar singing Meatloaf without abandon. Doyle's Corner doesn't even have a web site. But when you are this bad ass, you really don't need one.

Sunswick- (Astoria/LIC)

You a beer nerd? Like almost annoying? Can you name more than 3 times of hops? Well then come Sir or Madam, come on down to the 'Swick. Somewhere along the way Astoria grew a hipster culture. I blame some guy in a basement with Deerhunter blasting over flannel clad test tubes but I digress... 25 awesome beers on tap. A bad ass bartending crew. And a menu that is the perfect match of pretense and bar food. Go. Lose a Sunday in Queens. I dare you.

Pony Bar- Hell's Kitchen

From the booze soaked minds that opened Lansdowne Road comes this great American Craft Beer Bar. All of their beers are 5 dollars and unless you are trying to kill yourself with a beer that has an ABV of 8% or above (roughly) they come in 16oz pours. The kind of bar where they remember your face but don't bother you with the chit chat. The food is crazy good with hardly a misstep on the entire menu. Their griddle sausages are the food that hungarian dudes from Cleveland dream of. As if they needed it -their happy hour runs from 4:20 to 5:20 everyday. It gets a bit crowded but fuck it, the place is great. And if you are into celeb siting, well let all your gossipy sketch comedian spotting stories begin with "SO I WAS ALL LAAHKE at PONEEE BAHR..."

There are many great bars in NYC. Tons actually but these are the big four for me. Stumble away my friends. May the drunk be with you...

1 comment:

  1. I have never wanted to go bar hopping and get black out drunk on whiskey with you as much as I do in this moment. *sigh* To be in New York.

    Gimme Gimmes, yes please.